In the French language, using “vous” is a sign of politeness and respect. In general, we use this formal “code” (called Vouvoiement )on people we do not know, those we meet for the first time, people older than ourselves, customers ...
Phrases that use the formal “vous” are more cordial:
- How may I help you…
- I would suggest…
- If I may…
- I would recommend…
- I thank you…
- Have a nice day…
Using “vous” differentiates between our official and personal relationships. Think of it as respectful distance and a demonstration of your professionalism.
When we use “vous” with someone, we are indicating that we know the basics of respect and politeness.
Using the informal “tu” indicates closeness, more familiarity or intimacy and less formality in communication and topics of conversation. In general, young people, friends, and colleagues spontaneously use this informal “code” (called Tutoiment) amongst themselves, just like members of the same family.
If misused, “tu” can be interpreted as misplaced familiarity. When in doubt, use “vous”. The person you are talking to will ask you to use “tu” if they are not comfortable with the more formal language.
The golden rule is reciprocity, if the interlocutor uses informal language, then we adapt, and vice versa.
A compromise would be to keep the formal language, but accompany it with the name of the person to whom you are speaking.
If your habits, your education, or your culture make you hesitate to use informal language, formulate sentences that use neither formal nor informal language:
- Can I help…
- I suggest…
- Let’s look at this together…
- Thank you very much…
- I have a question, how…?
- Hello, how is it going?
- Thank you and goodbye…
They are just as polite and respectful and you won’t feel awkward!