Tips & Co. #516 - Do you complain too much?

Research links poor stress prediction and the inability to gauge your own potential coping resources to the tendency to complain.

University of Alabama's Yi-Ren Wang and colleagues (2021) note that people that have tendencies to over-estimate stress and underestimate their coping resources are constantly on edge and are primed to focus on the negative as each new day unfolds.

So, how to be less of a complainer? The study suggests that you first try to build your own resilience and sense of control over the events in your life by:


• Learning to adequately estimate the challenges of the day


• Preparing for daily challenges and having a plan to overcome them.


Otherwise, your mood will eventually become worn down and with it, your patience… and everything will seem like a problem!

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  801 lectures
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801 lectures

Optimism – In time of crisis…

Why write about optimism when we are in the midst of a worldwide crisis and people are manifestly fearful and worried? Research in neuroscience and psychology clearly shows that, in this kind of high-pressure situation, everyone’s anxiety level increases, which activates the portion of the brain that processes threats—the amygdala—and steals resources from the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for effective problem solving.

The present is gloomy, and the future seems threatening. What to do and what to think? I invite you not to sink into pessimism … pessimism is a silent and odorless gas that poisons us. As Goethe said: «Pessimism is condemned to be a spectator».

This period is chaotic and it’s understandable to have a hard time being optimistic. Your attitude is a crucial factor in these trying times, and maintaining a positive outlook becomes important … results are optimized when the brain is positive.

Optimism … What it is, and what it is not!

Optimism is not just about being positive. Being positive all the time (especially in times like these!) is unrealistic. Optimism is not about falling into naiveté either… Far from magical thinking, optimism is not an illusion … The «illusionist» is content in formulating magic sentences and incantations.

The challenge of optimism is to inspire yourself and others around you to behave intentionally about the future. It’s being capable of facing the dark aspects of reality. It reconciles realism and critical thinking …. It’s a positive intelligence that some call «opti-realism».

Optimist is intelligent: it plans, takes into account the criteria of effectiveness, and uses our personal resources and intelligence.

Our human nature is to be optimistic. Otherwise, we would not grow, walk, fall in love or acquire any skills. Optimism is a momentum, a vital force that pushes us to go forward, to obtain, and to conquer. Optimism just needs to be activated, channeled, and then used.

Optimism versus Pessimism

Pessimism is useful when put at the service of realistic optimism. Pessimism obliges us to take into consideration the constraints, the difficulties, the obstacles, and all the possible failure factors, without ignoring or minimizing them. It pushes us to show initiative, creativity, imagination and allows us to mobilize all our resources. Listen to that suspicious inner voice, list its warnings, stay sharp, and think about how we could get there despite the pitfalls.

The difference between optimists and pessimists is that optimists make more decisions to protect themselves from announced risks than pessimists: they are convinced that their actions can influence their destiny and not that they are victims of fatality! Optimists believe that taking action will have more beneficial consequences than if they just «let it be».

Being proactive versus being reactive

Proactive behavior (developing a strategy, making a choice, taking action and assuming the responsability) is always more positive - in terms of self-image, confidence and vision for the future - than reactive behavior.

Being reactive is more instinctive, it’s led by our reptilian brain, which triggers our defense mechanisms. It is not rational. Although it is good to look for the opportunity hidden in each difficulty, it needs to be done proactively instead of reactively. It is important to take the time to digest the new situation and the emotions it triggers. Too many decisions are made hastily because they are motivated by the desire to survive or to jump to a more pleasant stage.

Being optimistic also means accepting that there are problems and situations that are definitely or temporarily impossible to solve.

Change your relationship with stress

Don’t get stressed-out about being stressed-out. It’s important to remember that stress has an upside. Remember the life experiences that most shaped who you are today and notice that these experiences most likely involved great stress. Stress is not just an obstacle to growth; it can be the fuel for it. Stress is an inevitable part of life, but your attitude toward it can dramatically change how it affects you.

Developing Optimism

Training your brain to be optimistic is not so different from training your muscles at the gym. Research on neuroplasticity—the ability of the brain to change even in adulthood—reveals that, as you develop new habits, you rewire the brain.

To be «Opti-realistic» is to:

  • Strive to oppose each fear or obstacle to its positive antidote, so as to rebalance thoughts and emotions.
  • Consider unpleasant episodes as momentary, specific to a given situation and linked to reasons external to us.
  • Develop the emotional endurance to withstand these trying times.
  • Take a distant look at the situation and analyze each experience.

A good reflex is to take the situation into account and then ask yourself:

  • What can I do now?
  • What did this situation teach me (about me, about others)?
  • What improvements can I make (training, information, ...)?
  • What perspectives does it open for me (Changing my modus operandi, waiting for the right moment, ...)?

This keeps us from seeing ourselves as victims … you may not have control over the situation, but you still have control over how you will act in it – self-control!

Engaging in one brief positive exercise every day can help you develop optimism and have a lasting impact. Choose an activity that correlates with positive change:

  • Jot down three things you are grateful for.
  • Engage positively with people, even if virtually.
  • Help a neighbor, a colleague or a friend.
  • Meditate at your desk for two minutes.Exercise for 10 minutes.
  • Take two minutes to write in a journal about your latest most meaningful experience.
  • Choose one stress that you can control and come up with a small, concrete step you can take to reduce it.

In this way you can nudge your brain back to a positive mindset. The habits you cultivate, the way you interact with people, how you deal with stress—all these are good ways to start and can be implemented to increase your optimism and maintain a sense of well-being.

So here we are!

We are currently subject to an excessive dose of uncertainty. Psychological researchers have shown that intolerance to uncertainty is a fundamental dimension of what is called generalized anxiety, this sickly tendency to worry about what is uncertain, unpredictable and uncontrollable.

Before this event, we lived in an environment in which we exercised a certain control. This is no longer the case. This feeling of control is very important for our capacity for action and our emotional balance. Today the tolerable thresholds of uncertainty and loss of control may have been exceeded, hence our difficulties in remaining optimistic.

To get through the crisis, many efforts will be necessary; one of the most important is to build up our optimism. The falling tree always makes more noise than the growing forest: to become optimistic again, you have to become aware of your surroundings, not only of your problems, and listen to the forest growing!

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  2802 lectures
2802 lectures

Trucs & Astuces #364 - Pourquoi développer sa sensibilité culturelle?

Travailler dans un environnement multiculturel peut s’avérer une expérience professionnelle satisfaisante et enrichissante. Vous pouvez élargir vos horizons en apprenant diverses compétences et approches communicationnelles lorsque vous interagissez avec des gens aux origines culturelles différentes.

Les différences culturelles sont nombreuses et diverses, des croyances jusqu’aux normes culturelles. Les personnes d’origines culturelles diverses arrivent dans l’environnement de travail avec des pratiques personnelles et professionnelles dont l’acceptabilité sociale est différente. Celles-ci ne sont ni correctes ni incorrectes, seulement différentes. Que vous soyez d’accord ou pas, il est important de comprendre ces différences.

La méconnaissance du multiculturalisme peut amener à la mauvaise interprétation, le quiproquo voire l’insulte involontaire. Des habiletés telles que la sensibilité culturelle, la flexibilité et la communication efficace sont essentielles pour gérer les attentes des personnes de culture différente. Plus vous comprendrez la culture, plus vous serez performant dans une large variété d’interactions interpersonnelles.

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  3583 lectures
3583 lectures

Tips & Co. #285 - De-toxifying conflicts

We may be getting the job done but too often we go home feeling demoralized and frustrated.

In order to reduce work-related stress we need to promote accomplishments and emotional well-being at work. Not one or the other.

When human hearts are aligned with work, success becomes a challenge and a joy … and the best place to start is to work with the conflicts that arise in your own relationships at work.

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  2038 lectures
2038 lectures

Tips & Co. #239 - 2 steps when feeling overwhelmed

When feeling overwhelmed, it’s tempting to respond by working harder. But humans are "cyclical" so working more doesn’t just make you miserable, it makes for worse work too.

First, give yourself permission to ease up. Don’t add unnecessary pressure by trying to "motivate yourself", which really just means beating yourself up for feeling bad.

Second, respond correctly by taking productive action and focus on pacing yourself. Re-introduce rhythm to your routine, start small, one action at a time.

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  2528 lectures
2528 lectures

Tips & Co. #238 - Use calming and focusing techniques

If customers get angry or start yelling, employ calming techniques to defuse the situation. Keeping your tone of voice even can compel someone who's screaming to lower their voice.

When customers go off on tangents or are indecisive, bring them back to the issue at hand by asking pertinent questions.

Knowing how to identify and handle difficult consumers can help you turn a negative situation into an opportunity to build a stronger relationship.

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  2357 lectures
2357 lectures

Tips & Co. #237 - Coping with the fear of public speaking

If speaking in public causes you anxiety and concern, make an effort to stop thinking about yourself, your nervousness, and your fear.

Instead, focus on your audience: what you're saying is "about them." Remember that you're trying to help them in some way, and your message is more important than your fear.

Concentrate on your audience's wants and needs, instead of your own.

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  2127 lectures
2127 lectures

Tips & Co. #233 - Workplace stress release

Stress makes your body release out two hormones: cortisol and adrenaline. These chemicals put your body into fight-or-flight mode, ratcheting up your energy level and causing your heart to pound and your muscles to tense. Exercise gives you an outlet to release some of that tension (instead of taking it out on your customer or your colleague)  and increases your levels of "Feel-good" chemicals called endorphins.

So why don’t you make yourself (and everyone else) a favor and go for a walk on your lunch hour today!

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  2307 lectures
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2307 lectures

Tips & Co. #217 - Perfection vs Excellence

There is surely a need for perfectionism in some situations. But most things in life are pass/fail situations. Demanding perfection of yourself all the time can be stressful. Try aiming for excellence instead.

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  2433 lectures
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2433 lectures

Tips & Co. #213 - Lesson from the ski hill

When thoughts and worries feel utterly overwhelming, psychologists’ recommend a hidden logic for how to handle them.

"If you are hurtling down a slope and resist, you tumble. But if you submit to gravity, you learn to ski."

Our minds are among the most complicated entities in the universe. Although it may feel contradictory at first, if you ski, you'll know what they mean - now try it in the work place.

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  2515 lectures
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2515 lectures

Tips & Co. #199 - Find your stress equilibrium

We all know that too much stress isn’t good for your health, but too little stress isn’t ideal either- you become bored and unmotivated.

In small doses, stress is actually healthy. Short –term stress triggers the body’s defenses, as a result, your brain and body get a boost.

The key is balance, pay attention to your stress thermometer ... Keep the pressure on, but stay below the boiling point.

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  2519 lectures
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2519 lectures

Tips & Co. #196 - The causes of burnout

Burnout doesn’t always result from having too much to do: sometimes, it’s caused by a lack of control over your work, or by insufficient challenges in your job.

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Tips & Co. #193 - Create a new morning routine

Research shows that chronic workplace stress typically begins at the beginning of the workday and then escalates as the day progresses. Interrupt the pattern by creating a new morning routine. Go to a different place for your coffee. Do your administrative work before you check your emails, etc.

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  2617 lectures
2617 lectures

Tips & Co. #186 - Reduce the jitters

During a speech, to reduce the jitters or shyness, ignore the disapproving looks : watching the forehead of a spectator and not his eyes (a technique used by the "Marines" to speak to their officers ). The spectator will still have the feeling of being looked into his eyes and his forehead will not show impatience, criticism or particular emotions.

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  2479 lectures
2479 lectures

Tips & Co. #184 - To reduce our worries

A theory states that doing anything over and over again gets you bored fast (like riding an elevator up and down again and again). You can do the same with a nagging thought. Repeat the worry to yourself slowly. The monotony will stop you from escalating, getting sucked into a worry spiral and will likely make your mind wonder to other more productive thoughts.

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  2718 lectures
2718 lectures

Tips & Co. #179 - The advantage of kindness

Research has shown that offering even a small act of kindness can boost oxytocin levels (known as the "feel-good" hormone). Meaning that even in a difficult situation, by choosing to be nicer, trusting or generous to your clients or colleagues, will most likely make you feel better.

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  2510 lectures
2510 lectures

Tips & Co. #173 - Engage in play

Playing unleashes creativity and innovation. It allows us to relax and energizes us, which helps us to discover new ways of thinking and solving problems.

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  3365 lectures
3365 lectures

Tips & Co. #168 - Change is Tough

Any change causes stress, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Your stress response is designed to help you meet demands you face by increasing your focus. It’s your perception of the stress that is either negative or positive, and that will make you be either emotional or rational about it. To harness the rational aspect of change, acknowledge that the change you are facing is tough. This will change where you experience the stress in your brain, moving it from the reactive amygdala (emotional) to the prefrontal cortex (rational).  It will allow you to put in place solutions and strategies instead of resisting and reacting.

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  3519 lectures
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Tips & Co. #166 - Stage Fright

Stage fright is not always a disability, it can be used to your advantage. Fear triggers your defense mechanisms for channeling all the attention and energy toward a single goal. Secretion of adrenaline increases the speed with which you think, which puts you in a good position to structure your ideas, finding the right word or an ingenious answer. Too many jitters can undermine a presentation, but a bit of stage fright can put all your senses in alert and enhance your performance.

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  3155 lectures
3155 lectures

Tips & Co. #108 - A Smart Attitude to Have

Assertiveness is an important attitude to have in one’s professional life. An individual who is assertive remains calm and demonstrates positive body language - good visual contact, a relaxed posture, an air of interest, and good elocution (volume, delivery, tone, etc.) 

Assertiveness allows you to demonstrate to your interlocutor your assurance in your ability to deal with the problem while being respectful and establishing trust and credibility.

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  6130 lectures
6130 lectures

Be Careful with Emotions - Risk of Contagion!

Our brain is wired to imitate others – when we are in the presence of people, our mirror neurons (our learning neurons functioning by imitating and sharing with people around us) activate, and allow us to simulate in our brain the emotional state of the interlocutor, which makes us inclined to imitate and adopt the detected emotion ourselves (positive or negative). For example, when we see someone smile, we are likely to smile as well. Emotions are contagious.

This ability to sync with others is a sub-product of the way our brains have evolved. By copying emotions, attitudes and behaviors of those around us, we are in harmony, and get along better – a very useful practice in the past, when belonging to a group meant the difference between life and death.

This emotional contagion happens within a few milliseconds and is one of the many processes executed instinctively and unconsciously by our brain.

This tendency to sync our emotions is not always beneficial in the workplace, especially when we are surrounded with colleagues with a negative attitude, or if we work with unpleasant clients.Since we are born to emulate the emotions of those around us, we risk adopting toxic feelings (anger, cynicism, irritation, etc.) which we will then pass on to others, by activating their circuits. It becomes a vicious cycle which has a negative impact not only on our attitude and performance but also on the work climate and on the customer service quality.

Let’s picture for a second that your desk neighbor is in a bad mood this morning – as usual. You feel his bad mood immediately (he just contaminated you) and you decide to go get a coffee so as to walk away. While walking towards the coffee machine, you think about how unpleasant it is to work with him. Absorbed in these thoughts, you walk by a colleague whom you quickly and absent-mindedly greet.

Your negative emotions are then perceived by this colleague (you just contaminated him), who walks away thinking about why you were so unpleasant to him this morning. Preoccupied by your behavior

towards him, he is distracted and doesn’t notice the customer waiting at the counter, who becomes irritated from having been neglected (he has just been contaminated). This is an example of how a workplace climate can be ruined and the service quality therefore downgraded, without anyone understanding why.

Our emotions condition our interpersonal relationships, they have a big impact on other people’s mood and they have the power to positively or negatively influence our way of interacting and communicating with our environment.

Customer service is an emotional industry and not only accepts emotional expression, but demands it, as customer satisfaction (or dissatisfaction) largely depends on the emotional climate of the exchange with the service provider and organization.

We have the power to “contaminate” others. But we also have the “professional responsibility” to develop our emotional management skills and to define how our emotions can be put to the service of our relationships with colleagues and customers, and how they can contribute to their satisfaction, rather than hindering it.

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  6932 lectures
6932 lectures

Tips & Co. #90 - Emails and stress

Emails sent too fast, written without a polite opening, the imperative “Urgent” received various times a day, the never-ending “reply to all”… All these mini aggressions are the source of misunderstandings, knock the psychological balance and can eventually cause illness tied to stress.

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  4069 lectures
4069 lectures